10 Fictional Books about Grief, Death, and Mourning
Today marks ten years since I lost my father.
It was sudden and life-changing. He was so young and he missed out on so much. He missed watching me graduate from university and later from graduate school. He didn’t get to walk me down the aisle. In fact, he never met my husband. He’ll never see grandchildren or get to travel around the world to visit me.
It doesn’t really feel like it’s been ten years, but the apple tree we planted for his grave is producing fruit this year. Strange how that is.
The thing I’ve learned about grief is that it never really goes away. You learn to cope, learn to deal, but it’s always there. It can take you by surprise sometimes. It can pull you out of the moment as quickly as breathing. It’s a part of who you are now, of who you’re going to be for the rest of your life.
Grief is also a very lonely thing. No matter what kind of support you have, you can still feel alone in your grief. I am very lucky to have a wonderful family who also miss my father. I wish everyone who grieves could have a support system like I have. Even still, I still turn to books for solace. There is something about seeing what you feel in your heart written down that makes you feel seen, heard. You know you’re not alone because there, right there, someone has written down what you’ve been thinking or feeling.
I have a list of fictional books that touch on what it means to grieve. These protagonists don’t grieve “correctly” but rather they give voices to the many ways we go through the process. I’m not the kind of person who likes to read self-help books. I don’t want coping mechanisms or books about the process or grief. I want to read STORIES. These books are not how-to guides, but rather fictional stories of someone else learning about life after loss. Sometimes it’s easier to process your own grief through someone else.
In no particular order, here they are.
The Astonishing Color of After by Emily X. R. Pan
I read this book as part of my monthly bookclub.
Plot-wise, it sounds crazy town: Leigh, a fifteen-year-old girl, is trying to cope after mother has committed suicide, but she is also convinced that her mother has turned into a bird. A big, red, beautiful bird. She travels from America to Taipei to meet her maternal grandparents, learn about her mother’s past, and to hopefully catch her mother, the bird.
It’s not crazy-town, though. It’s extraordinary magical realism that doesn’t shy away from a sharp look at a difficult subject.
A Monster Calls by Patrick Ness
Monsters, both real and imagined, live all around us. This masterpiece of a story explores the relationship between Conor and the monster in his back yard. Conor’s life is in upheaval after moving in with his grandfather. His mother is sick and his father lives far away. He is lonely and wants everything to return to normal, despite knowing that it can never happen. The monster in the backyard has something to say.
Absolutely get the version that is illustrated by Jim Kay. The pictures bring out the words of the story in such a lovely way.
A Taste of Heaven by Penny Watson
This book was surprising to me. A widow, perfect in her ice cold grief, is one to always follow the rules and to do the expected. Her daughters have signed her up for a local televised cooking competition (think GBBO) to shake her out of her cocoon, but what they don’t know is that her grief has made it impossible to taste food anymore. She doesn’t want to attend the competition, but once there she meets a grumpy bastard of a Scottish chef and suddenly she feels the need to win.
The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas
A poignant and incredibly timely piece on what it means to be a young black man in America. A close look at BLM and the different social spheres a single person can inhabit. Starr Carter lives in a poor neighborhood, but attends and expensive prep school. She was also the witness to the fatal shooting of her best friend by a police officer. There’s a reason this has been one of the most talked about YA books in the past year.
Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer
Oskar Schell, a precocious nine-year-boy, sets off to unravel a mystery after his father died during the 9/11 attacks. He journeys physically throughout the boroughs of NYC and emotionally to a find a place of peace.
I would recommend that this book be physically read. As an audiobook, while read wonderfully, it lacks a certain something that makes the story what it is. Obviously, my opinion, so take it as you will.
Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling
Re-reading the Harry Potter series through the lens of grief changed the story completely for me. I understood a little bit more about Harry’s mourning that his parents were never around to see him grow up. My heart broke in tandem with his as he learns what it means to love, to regret, to sorrow, to mourn. I felt so much more empathy for him during the later books as I saw the signs of PTSD, stress, and despair. I felt his conflicting emotions as he struggled to rectify other characters through his limited experience with them and who they were to others.
Pet Sematary by Stephen King
Stephen King has an ability to craft nightmares out of mere words and to bring people to life in such stunning ways. He has an uncanny ability to expose humans as the flawed, ridiculous things we are. This is a dark book, perhaps his darkest, but it’s terrifying with surprisingly little bloodshed. If you want to think about death in a different way than you have before, this is it.
As an aside, Micheal C. Hall is an excellent narrator for this story, if you enjoy audio books.
Anybody Out There by Marian Keys
I hate the term chick-lit, but Marian Keys is constantly shelved there, which is unfortunate because she has an astounding ability to create fascinating casts of characters who deal with the ups-and-downs of ordinary lives in such a lovely and true way. Anna is the care-free Walsh daughter who lives in NYC and has the Perfect Job and Perfect Life and Perfect Love. One day, her life turns upside down and she is mystified as to why. A sorta bizarre, but still charming, look at love, life, and loss.
It’s the fourth book of a series, but you absolutely do not have to read the others.
A Dirty Job by Christopher Moore
A deeply humorous and more-than-slightly macabre look at death as told from the perspective of one who is chosen to be, well, Death. Charlie Asher, a regular run-of-the-mill guy, is expecting his first child with his wife when suddenly he notices that a lot of people around him are starting to drop dead.
Another bizarre, yet laugh-out-loud, book to add to the pile, as long as you’re okay with a good deal of irreverence. I know I am.
Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro
This dystopian novel takes place in an England that doesn’t really look that different at first glance. Three children grow up in solitary sort-of existence, united together because of something they share, something that makes them special. As adults, they learn what it means to be unique and how that can shape the rest of their lives.
Kazuo Ishiguro writes about regret, life, and sorrow better than anyone else I know. I think sometimes to really understand mourning, you need to understand life.
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